Ugh….I am in my 3rd day of being sick. Talked to my two oldest soms last night and ugh more bad news. I haven’t said anything because we have been hoping for the best but it looks like even our strongest prayers didn’t work, or they are working in some odd way, we can’t see yet. In the first football game my oldest son Ty was hit in the knees from the back. He has had 2 X-rays and now is being sent to get an MRI and possibly orthopedic surgeon. To try and make this short-his season is done. His senior year. The hardest thing is talking to him about life without football and even worse to his brother, who is also a senior is very, very upset about having to go on in the season without his brother. I talked on the phone with him yesterday, I wanted to say a million things but each time I tried, it sounded cheesy and like I was trying to be from Pleasantville. Jalen lashed out at me, blaming me for all this….blaming his father. I, of course know it isn’t me, but the guilt of not being there for the last two years lies heavy in my heart and turns my hair grey. Oh my sons, if there was a reset button, I would have hit that so long ago. But everything happens for a reason…even if it don’t seem like it right now. I know they won’t read this right now, maybe never, or maybe one day when I’m gone but I want to say as a mother, it doesn’t matter what you do-you can play football, you don’t have to. You can do what ever you want, even if you ever fuck up (I hope not). I am still your mom…I will always love you.
(I hope Jalen plays extra hard…for the first time ever, his brother isn’t there to watch his back.).