I know I write a lot about being on the inside, it was just and still is a way to get through it. I almost feel like I have PTSD from it, seriously. Everyday I think about it, about there, about them. Everyone is so quick to say stupid shit like, ‘you can do the crime, you can do the time.’ Or things equally as insulting. I realize most people have no idea what they are saying because not everyone commits crimes and chances are people in their families also don’t.
But I want people on the outside to know, that the people in there are just the same. They are people, they smile because they have to try and smile their way through it. They cry over sad movies and they feed a fat squirrels named Billy. They are people, who made mistakes.
So one of my little projects in there was finding out what these people missed from the outside. And when I say I wanted to know what they missed, what I meant was something simple and comforting from their everyday life. This couldn’t include the obvious. Such as family, freedom, or addictions. And the most obvious, the four letter D word, which could also be a 5 letter P word, lol.
So here was what I missed.
Not because it was a beautiful couch, it could have been any couch. It was comforting, I had my phone within reach, my remote, I sat by the window to peek out to my ‘hood, and I had my beadowrk with me, cat nearby. In prison or jail there are no couches, just your fold up chair and your cot.
My friend K, missed going outside at night. She hadn’t done it for 7 years and had 15 to go.
T missed cooking.
P missed her little dogs.
N missed not being able to answer a phone when it rang, because she said she felt so stupid when a phone rang and rang and she couldn’t answer it.
J missed opening a fridge door and seeing what was inside. Instead of having to wait for one to be unlocked.
E missed her stereo and dancing with her kids.
V missed her jewelry.
T missed shopping.
D missed ordering fast food.
N missed being able to walk outside at anytime.
J missed being barefoot.
M missed being able to take showers without sandals on.
And she also missed sandals outside.
P missed colorful clothing.
K missed driving.
G missed cleaning and doing dishes.
N missed her cell phone.
V missed TV on her schedule.
L missed cigarettes.
Yeah, there’s a lot out here to appreciate, like the simple act of answering a phone or looking in the fridge. And you didn”t even know, did you?
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