I’m wondering if me sobering up really changed me that much? I thought I always was somewhat about change, hope, freedom, and all that even though I had no idea what they really meant or the fact that I was half pickled.
Now that I am a free person, sober, and writing again, I feel as if I must have turned into this huge asshole to some people with my positiveness and hope for change.
I lost my best friend over the fact that I wrote about the pipeline, and others close to me never have anything nice or encouraging to say about anything I write or post. I’m seriously not looking for sympathy with this blog post so please, if you think that direct your pity to a homeless person or stray animal.
I am just kind of freaked out that my new attitude in life bothers some people (some really close to me) so bad, that I am starting to wonder if I am wrong and if having hope is a hindrance?
I don’t in no way, shape, or form, believe for a second I can change the world with my writing, nor do I think anything I have to say should bother someone who claims to love me. If they don’t support me, they should accept me and my beliefs for what they are…mine.
There are, however, people out there who have changed the world. This whole month, Black History Month, is all about movers, shakers, and people who have changed the world. They had hope, they never gave up.
All I do is write about things, issues I care about. I won’t stop writing because people I used to throw beers back with think I’m full of shit now. In reality I was full of shit back then, not changing myself.
I will continue to write because maybe one of my kids or future grandkids will be a mover, a shaker, or have the capability to change the world and will someday say “See it seemed like she was talking shit, but she did have hope.”
I just don’t get what is so bad about having hope.
“What is true of the individual will be to-morrow true of the whole nation if individuals will but refuse to lose heart and hope.”