Peace in your mind, heart, lives. (RIP Amanda)

I totally don’t want this taken the wrong way because I am not trying to lay blame anywhere. An incident happened in the city I live in. I of course slept through the whole thing because I have no life. I sleep and go
to work. That’s it. I’m no fun. But what happened was a horrible incident. A man who had just been released from jail for domestic violence had taken his children at gunpoint from their daycare. Now the mother was granted a temporary restraining order, but any victim of abuse who has been there and done that knows that a restraining order is only a piece of paper and won’t do a thing to keep your abuser away. And what good was a restraining order granted on the same day the guy was released from jail for choking his girlfriend the day before?
Anyway, after taking his kids from daycare he drove to his girlfriends place of employment. A local Cost Cutters. His girlfriends boss, a young 24 year old saw him coming and called inside to warn her. She then pulled her car up to block him from going in. At that point he shot her in the head and he car accelerated. It came to rest by a restaurant where she died.
He then held everyone hostage in the Cost Cutters until his ex talked him into letting them all go. As they walked out, he shot himself and died. The whole ordeal was awful.
I guess why I am writing about this, is because of the 24 year old. She is being deemed a hero for standing up to him. Which is right. Ok. I get that. But she also had a baby. She was also a mother. And in her quick thinking or not thinking she will never see her child grow up because she thought this man wouldn’t hurt her. She had no beef with him. So if she said something, he should listen right? Except he was crazy. And he didn’t respect women enough that he even beat his babies mom. And he had a gun.
So I am not laying blame. I think women should feel empowered, strong, etc. However I would have called the cops before interfering in a situation like that. I mean he already broke a restraining order, so you know he’s dangerous.
I see this happen at work. There is a lady who will cover my shift sometimes over night. And its a hard shift. Hours are tough. Parties are sometimes scary. I was rushed once by an older white male about 6 ft 2. So I went back to the office ready to call the cops. My saving grace was all his friends pulling him back and into a room.
But this lady I work with will stand there and argue with a party of drunks and tell them to hit her. And she is so proud of it. She will tell me how she provokes them “Hit me, come on hit me I dare you!” And she smiles at her bravery. I don’t know if this makes her feel tough or if she had ever actually been hit by a man?
I have been in some fucked up, dysfunctional as hell relationships. I know one hit from a man can take me down. Don’t get me wrong, I fought back. With everything from a frying pan to a 2 x 4. I was abused but in my messed up head, thought if I fought back I wasn’t.
I know not to go up to a party of drunk men and tell them to hit me. I mean I get scared for her. I get scared one of these days they will hit her and who knows what. I break up parties differently. If they don’t listen, I call the cops.
And there is another lady at work who fired somebody and he was irate. He was pacing outside calling her out. She hollered at him to come in and hit her. I guess I don’t get it.
I believe we are strong as hell as women. But we also have to be strong in the mind. We have to think, over think and strategize every part of every move we make especially if faced with a situation that could turn violent. We have to be stronger in the mind and heart than the person we are facing, because most times we aren’t as strong physically.
I would not blame either of my bosses if they did get hit at work. I don’t want that to happen. But I also would not put myself in that situation. Blessings to all and if we can’t have world peace, please, please have peace in your lives. I do or I try.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry. Ain’t gotta lie to kick it


3 thoughts on “Peace in your mind, heart, lives. (RIP Amanda)

  1. I am deeply saddened by these events. Unfortunately, they are not rare, and they impact so many people. The impacts spread out from the center and last for generations. When someone goes on a rampage, they often have no idea the breadth and depth of the harm they are causing. They are just enraged or desperate. Still, the harm is done and many are profoundly hurt. I hope compassion and healing enfolds you all.

  2. Oh my gosh, poor girl!
    I understand all that you’re saying, but I would have probably done the same thing; of course, not thinking that he would shoot me in the head…
    Horrible, horrible thing…

  3. I absolutely get your heartache on this… as a formerly abused example, i fought back by training in the martial arts. I became lethal and calm, and now scare my ex who terrorized me( he told me once). I feel the loss of that innocent that he destroyed by abuse. After i had been held hostage and bludgeoned by him for 8 hours (as my neighbors listened and did nothing), i asked my instructor what i should have done?since i was guilt ridden that i should have fought back,but didn’t-he had a chefs knife and was hitting me with a phone of all things.I was naked, and concussive,bleeding. I instead did nothing but try to quiet him. He was crazy and also on drugs/alcohol,. in the end my instructor said” did you survive?”, i said” yes, of course, i am right here”. He said , then what you did was right……. that changed everything for me.There is no easy answer…

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