One of the most beautiful feelings in the world.

The reservation sky by Christie Apple.

The reservation sky by Christie Apple.

I woke up today with the realization that I am free. Free as an uncaged bird. Free to go to Kentucky and watch a NCAA game. Free to listen to whatever music I want. Free to bead with whatever kinds of beads I want and buy whatever shampoo I want. Free to sit on something as soft as a couch and see the stars at night. Free to breath in the fresh air even if it is polar vortex chilled. I am free to answer a phone, hold money in my hand and buy a pack of gum with it. Free to look in the fridge when I am hungry at any given time of the day. Free to call my dad if I want to hear his voice and free to get my words out to more than a couple of people.

Sunday will be three years since I walked away from the prison. I had a short number, I didn’t do as much time as some people I know are doing but one day of being locked up is a day too long. It took a strong spirit for me to be happy on the inside. I had to not let anyone’s negativity get to me. Not to say it didn’t but I did pretty good. The only times I cried on the inside was when someone on the outside with everything in the world to be thankful for got to me and broke me. Had the nerve to make me cry while I was inside and couldn’t do anything about it. I also cried for my kids but I knew they were ok. They were lonesome for me but the were ok. I met so many women in there who had no idea where their kids were. Who could only pray their kids were not being raised in the same environment that put them on the inside.

Upon release I realized people on the outside have no idea how lucky they are. I started to let negativity get to me and surround my spirit. But today I woke up and thought fuck, I am free.

And I remembered that is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world and I get to experience it every single day.

I wished I could show the whole world, how beautiful everyday is.


3 thoughts on “One of the most beautiful feelings in the world.

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