Did you ever see the classic movie “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?” I saw it when I was a little girl on a contraption called a video disc. Which was the size of an album and newer than taped VHS tapes. They looked like CD’s. anyway, it was one of my Grandma’s favorite movies so we watched it all the time. I remember distinctly when Jack met Chief Broomstick played by Will Sampson.
I remember thinking at age 7, “Hey, damn, that’s an Indian.”
I remember him being quiet and reserved not unlike me.
And then I remember after Billy Bibbett told Jack that he was “Just a d-d-d-d-deaf and dumb Indian” and Jack taunting him with racial slurs, Chief Broomstick stood there all stoic and Jack made a fool of himself.
I remember at age 7 being disappointed that the Indian guy just stood there. Then I remember watching him come out of his shell, playing basketball like all Indians do (except me) and winning the game for the patients against the orderlies. I also remember the end, when Jack wanted everyone to uprise and have a revolution with him and he was made into a vegetable. I remember everyone else left him for dead. Except for Chief Broomstick, he had a plan, when he realized what they did to Jack he did what he had to and escaped. He was the silent Indian, often overlooked and in the end he walked away. Escaped & walked away by himself. To some kind of XIT sounding music. Badass…
This post will not be liked very much only because I am going to be real honest here.
Some people might think I am coming at them what I have to say …all sideways or somehow. Or some people might say I am a hater and unless you are a Red Sox fan then I kind of am a hater and if you are a true Red Sox fan then you realize the love of baseball and you hate the Yankees. How dare you.
But anyways, I am just tired of seeing the same ol same ol and I finally had to say something and I am not against anyone for who they are or what they are or what they are doing in life. I am actually FOR THEM.
Unless, they are doing what they constantly complain about. And that is blaming other people for the state of the union, state of the state, state of the reservation, state of their own personal lives, etc.
And the excuse is always; “All these uneducated Indians…” Blah blah, we hate everyone… we want everyone to fail, etc. You can not group us all together like that because I would never group all you degree loving Indians together.
Let’s get something straight and narrow here. I appreciate every single Indian that beats the odds and runs out there and gets that degree and uses it. I support you because you make my “ignorant” ass look good. I mean Jesus knows, if anyone did anything and everything wrong in life it was me me me. IF hell is real, they are waiting for me. If heaven is real I have a plan… to sneak in.
I am no good, I know that. I am uneducated, and god forbid not only do I cuss, wash clothes on Sundays, but I also am a Yankee fan. (I know God is a Yankee fan) But I believe in and support all my people. I don’t like to use terms like “crabs in the bucket” and “lateral oppression” not because I don’t know what they mean and (I am so tempted to talk like Foghorn Leghorn right now) but because I am sick and tired of everyone blaming everyone. Aren’t you?
If anything, if you have an education, you know how hard it was to be from the rez and achieve that and you can move beyond that, past that. I have been through alot of shit in my life and I only have myself to blame. I will tell you before anyone else will I fucked up and I am not the best mother. I quit making their Halloween costumes by hand and baking and all that long time ago. But I screwed things up, myself. I could blame the government, the tribe, the people, the moon and the stars, but I won’t. I am better than that.
It was just as hard for me to overcome but I point no fingers.
I am proud of my children for choosing a higher education, just as they are of me for being published. For writing a book, for writing for The Guardian, for finding my brother. For a bunch of shit I don’t toot my own horn for because I probably lost that horn when I beaded it and sold it for groceries. But to be honest, back when I was blaming everything and everyone I was like a car on the rez after the snow melts. Stuck. In Limbo, Spinning bald tires and Pointing Lips.
My children have gone farther than me. They have gone farther than their father. They have gone farther than many of their ancestors and I am so in love with that fact. That is what life is about, our children. None of this me me me poor me no one will let me get ahead bs.
I can never put uneducated Indians down. I am one. I can never blame them, just myself. I have accepted that and moved forward. I can never hate educated Indians because got damn I am so proud of them.
I am from a long line of uneducated, caring, fighting, loving, knowing, observant, brilliant, hostile and defiant blanket Indians. And I am damn proud. Now, go get your degree and do what you were meant to. I love it and am proud of you.
Our people were astronomers before the rest of the world knew there were stars…we were always brilliant. We could see seven generations down the road…a good friend told me.