Being the mother of three boys and a daughter is not easy. In fact, being a mother is not easy. And watching them grow into adults is a mixed up time in life. You swell with pride watching them become who they need to be in life and at the same time you worry about them and what they are going to do in life. That one point where they become responsible for their actions and you can no longer save them from the evils of the world is a scary time for mothers, well at least for me. I always wanted to be that one they run to when they need me but there were times in their lives when I wasn’t there and other people, friends of mine were. I am and will always forever be grateful to those who were and they know who they are.
I guess I am just at that point in life where you realize your kids will now be adults and maybe it is exciting for them to grow up and become responsible, but I am the one having a hard time adjusting to this new role. I am supposed to be the one who can’t bake a good cookie if her life depended on it for them, the one who chases the monsters away, and the one who makes it all better when they need me. Maybe in a way I still am, I am the one they call when they have a problem, and whether I decide or not to help them with that problem or let them solve it on their own, (as I sit back and hold myself back from jumping in to make it better for them.) I don’t want them to have that victim mentality but rather the warrior/survivor mentality of taking care of yourself and your own.
Yes, it is hard to watch my children grow up. I will still always be that mom that worries about them. At the same time, I am the mother who will let them be adults and learn the ways of the world on their own. That is because, I simply won’t always be here. But I will always be their mom. I will always love them as hard as it is for me to let them learn life’s lessons on their own, and they will always love me. We have a deal, see.