I am done apologizing for getting fired up, angry, mad, or for going on the warpath. I am sick of sweating the petty shit. And I am tired of people telling me how I should be feeling or what I should be thinking. Makes me want to say, who are you to tell me what I should be thinking, writing, or defending? I am not a pawn, puppet, or dumbass. I have a mind and if that offends anyone, too bad. I spent too much of my life being sorry. For nor good reason. If I am passionate about believing in what I do, standing up for what I think is right, or fighting what I think is wrong, then that is how I choose to live my life. I am not livestock in line for the slaughterhouse. I am a Lakota woman, if anyone tells you I am supposed to be docile and inila, you heard wrong. I am tired of bullshit. I am tired of the people of the state thinking they can continue to claim they “give us everything” and yet they live on our land, take our children out of our home, and tell us how a good family structure is supposed to be when they are the ones who put the dis and the funk in dysfunction in any of our family relationships…for generations. I am tired of them stereo-typing us and then getting offended when we call them racist. I am tired of that stupid divide. They started it, we continue it…its stupid, hateful and a vicious circle. I am tired of people apologizing to me because they are white. I don’t care. I don’t care if you or you can go generations back to prove how lily white you are, if you have a good heart I will think you’re cool beans and frybread. However, don’t apologize to me for the sins of your people…stand up to your own and tell them they are still fucked up for being ignorant. I’ll tell my people, in fact I write and email every tribal president and have yet to get an answer from one of them. I’ll tell my people to support each other, we have enough people putting us down.
I’m tired of people thinking we were uncivilized nubes when in fact, we have always been brilliant.
What other people stand up for all the branches of their family tree?
Yes, that is us. Brilliantly, wild, hostile Lakota. You know we been representing for hundreds of years.
“You want to be sorry all your life? Just live.” -my mom
Ain’t gotta lie to kick it
Just A Rez Chick 
I understand that feeling of not being able to express without judgement~maybe not to the highest degree but i do feel your pain!
My heroes killed Custer too~as a kid people thought I was nuts! I was,I was angry about that!!!! I felt like I was not in the right family,like my name and identity was not what i was told it was~but it is~I felt connected to things no one ever taught me about,but once I showed an interest i was encouraged to learn! I didn’t lie what I learned about the truth. I am still angry that people act like it is ok that this has taken sooooo long,and so slow!!!!!!
I didn’t LIKE what I learnned not lie~sorry,I am not figuring this process out. Which is why I am so inconsistent.
I hate always apologizing for my feelings and beliefs, to non-Natives. I even feel resentful towards them, because in the past I did so much to stand up for so many of their struggles for rights and space in this society. Yet, when it came to them standing up for me and our people, they all refused–they’d say bullshit like “you injuns get free land, free money, free health care, and free college education”… I never got any of that. America and it’s society sure as hell got a ton of free land from us, though…
i echo this!! Your mom rocks… no more apologies.well said dana.